Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
