i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize