I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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