apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
