Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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