what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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