Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
