Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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