He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
