you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i would one night stand the shit outta him
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize