i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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