Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
