I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
