she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
