Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
whose parrot is this?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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