I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
