If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
