She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
ugly people sure do ruin things
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
