I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
