If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just found puke in my bra..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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