operation harelip BJ is a go
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize