the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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