we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
