it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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