I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
