Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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