Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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