Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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