I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
