I need help removing her.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i think my cat just said my name.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
