Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
