He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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