Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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