Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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