My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
