Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
