I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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