Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
