You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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