Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
