There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
