Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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