I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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