yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
