Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
