I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
