He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
