Already got asked if we're dating
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
