oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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