just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
