i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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