Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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