There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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