K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
