So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
