he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
