final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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