she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
