I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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