Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
