Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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